Taking a Heroic Dose of Shrooms: My Psilocybin Mushroom Awakening

15.08.2020

In today's blog post, I wanted to share an experience that changed my life completely. Four years ago, I took 4 grams of Psilocybin mushrooms in silent darkness, with no knowledge of what to expect or what I would experience. Here's how it went:

The night began with a calm dinner and a spontaneous suggestion from my boyfriend at the time, and now husband, Dennis, who had countless experiences with shrooms. I agreed without much thought, and before I knew it, we were eating dried, nasty-tasting mushrooms. We started listening to shamanic music in a candlelit room. I felt nothing until everything went black.

I saw what felt like millions of lives, all being fast-forwarded to the moment I found a shroom and ate it, each time becoming younger and awakening faster. Before I could grasp what was being shown to me, I realized I had left my body and couldn't physically find it anywhere. I was a soul returned to the source, home, with the one true creator. I felt an instant rush of unconditional love; I was all. I was the mountains, and as I perceived that, I became overwhelmed with emotions and tears. My tears turned into the ocean, and the cycle of creation continued. I realized Dennis was nowhere to be found, and as I thought of him, he appeared within me. We were pure energy; we were everything, one with the all.

This went on for a while—pure creation. Once the effect wore off a little, I came back into reality. It felt like being in a plane crash; suddenly, the lights were all on in the apartment, even though there was no light. Everything was spinning, and a loud ringing noise could be heard. I found Dennis physically, and he held onto me, expressing pure emotions. He held me and kept asking, "What are you running from?" until I faced it all and realized everything I felt I had been carrying for years.

Suddenly, it was like I could remember everything, all the knowledge of the universe. I remembered that I am God, as is every single soul. Everything was clear. I knew I remembered, even though it wasn't specific. I knew I had forgotten, but now I remembered all of it.

Reality looked similar to what we know, except it seemed "turned off." I know that sounds beyond strange, but it was almost as if I could see what we call "the matrix" as if it was nothing more than a game, a simulation. My cat at the time, Archie, was the only thing that seemed immune, walking through realities and dimensions. As I went out onto the balcony, the sky had an opening at the top, and the moon looked almost like it was on a string, like in a theater play. It all became clear—reality is no more than a mere play. Temporary amnesia and illusion of separation. The keyword is an illusion, as we are never really apart from the source. We aren't ever really children or adults, just infinite beings playing a game of "Oops, I forgot I knew everything." I could also see the flower of life in the sky, like a kaleidoscope. The flower of life is the true form of this reality, hidden in plain sight. It makes up everything that we know, and now I know what “they” are hiding, and I want to know more.

There was a presence, something beyond my perception, watching us. As Dennis and I looked at each other, we thought, "Oops, we really went too far this time," and we were almost sure we would never return to this reality. Somehow, in the state we were in, there was no fear, no regret, just pure peace and calmness, relief. We thought we made it out.

At the time, a roommate of Dennis was living with him, and even when I went into his room to try to talk to him, his body was there, but he wasn't—like an empty shell. Almost as though the "character" was also off. I know this seems insane, but if you have ever experienced a trip, you know very well reality is beyond any mortal mind's comprehension.

I went to the toilet, and everything was moving—all the patterns on the wall. Everything seemed to breathe, to be conscious and receptive to us. Before I knew it, I could see in my peripheral vision something manifesting in dark shadows behind me. Dennis freaked out and said, "No, we are not doing this," and he took me to another room, and everything went positive again. Shortly after, we fell asleep and woke up back here in this reality. That night changed my life; it almost activated my real self.

The character I was playing was so lost and confused, so brainwashed by the matrix, unaware of all the realities and dimensions. Once you experience out-of-body or death, you just can't go back. Once reality melts and shifts in your own eyes, there is nothing that can come close to matching such an experience. You finally understand what they mean by "this is all an illusion, a creation of the mind." Reality is all an illusion and a spell; everything is magic. We are avatars in this game we call life. Do not fear death. We are taught—no, we are indoctrinated to fear it, and that it's painful, but we choose to die just like we choose to live. Lose the fear; you can never die or cease to exist. We are eternal.

We are gods, sleeping gods. I woke up for what seemed like a minute; the veil lifted. I will never forget. The knowledge and power are within us all.

I chose to come here before the amnesia. I wanted to experience it all—food, love, emotions, pain, warmth, all of it. I wanted to experience this 3D plane. I struggle to stay grounded, a starseed, but I chose to be here. I chose to incarnate, so I better enjoy it!

The effects of that night have never worn off. Yes, you get caught up in the matrix endless times, but my soul has never been able to return to who I was. I thought I was on a spiritual journey, but this catapulted me into another level of being. I did not resonate with my passion, my career, my identity, myself—the identity the matrix gave me. I resonated with my soul, my true purpose, my real form, me. The I AM. GOD.

I went through huge ups and downs and some of the hardest times of my life. I stopped drinking, then started drinking again. I stopped training, thinking it was a vanity game (I was very into fitness at the time), only to do a whole circle back. I became a certified quantum healing practitioner and learned which parts of my past self to keep and which to release.

My diet changed drastically, unable to consume or tolerate animal products. It was hell and back, but eventually, I accepted that I died that night, only to be reborn. Like the Phoenix, burned down to rise again. Once I stopped trying to force myself back into who I was and mourned her, I made space for the new Ali to enter, the one that is aware of her higher self and is in service to humanity and Spirit. My ego will always be present, but the journey to heal and strive for my highest self has never stopped.

I have ups and downs, but every day I get up trying to do better because you have to be the change you want to see in the world. I am far from the end of my journey; in fact, I feel I am only at the start. But I felt called to share this powerful night of catharsis, as it can be so intimidating for good reasons and should always remain so. It is a medicine that needs to be respected, but the taboo needs to be released. This is medicine, plant medicine, medicine for the soul, the key to unlocking ourselves, our friends, our family, and humanity as a whole.

In the end, we are all one, different expressions of the source, all playing different characters at once. It's time to return home, together, piece by piece.

Thank you for being here! Until next time, may your path be filled with love, light, and the eternal quest for wisdom.

With Love,

Chanting Wisdom

Disclaimer: Please always use plant medicine with correct intentions and in a safe setting. It is not a game; it is a powerful spiritual tool. Always respect it as such. It is not for everyone. If it interests you, always learn from masters and guides, such as Terence McKenna, Ram Dass, and others.

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